Wednesday, July 30, 2008

losing urself ...

Catchig up with family & friends is the best healer.. especialy in these times ... I keep listening to the music ... schiller helps me a lot ... losing yourself in deep forest ... or diving in the deep deep pool ... just to go somewhere ... just to explor more ....

I've been here all the time
as far as I know doing right
I've always waited for the moment
that you would come through my door
but this brought loneliness so far
I lay my hand onto my heart
is this the life I want to live
is this the dream I had of you
but this brought loneliness so far
I lay my hand onto my heart
is this the life I want to live
is this the dream Ihad of you
the dream I had of you
the dream I had of you
now I'm standing here alone
waiting on my own
for something that will fill the emptiness
inside the moment that you mind
but this is loneliness I know
I lay my hand onto my soul
is this what life has got to give
is this the dream I had of you
the dream I had of you
but this is loneliness I know
I lay my hand onto my soul
is this what life has got to give
is this the dream

the dream I had of you

Saturday, July 26, 2008

summer festival in europe ...



summer festival in europe ...


Thursday, July 24, 2008

summer in europe ...

we .... three genoration .. all toghether ... taking sun bath in here ... we all need some rest .. mentally and emotionaly.. still in denial for our lost ...
its hot summer here and life is going on ... so damn quick ... so damn quick ...

Friday, July 18, 2008

dream of you ...

.......
but this brought loneliness so far
i lay my hand onto my heart
is this the life i want to live
is this the dream i had of you
.....

Thursday, July 17, 2008

At my facebook wall page:
Hello my friend
may you find strength during this time
always remember you are a fabulous and very beautfiul person
if there is anything I can do just ask
love and light ...
Sonja

......
Me: Emmm ...Thanks

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I feel u ...

I feel you
I feel you
In every stone
In every leaf of every tree
That you ever might have grown
I feel you
In everything
In every river that might flow
In every seed you might have sown
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
In every vain
In every beating of my heart
Each breath I take.
I feel you
Anyway
In every tear that I might shed
In every word I`ve never said
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
In every vain
In every beating of my heart
In in every breath I ever take
I feel you
Any way
In ever tear that I might shed
In every word I`ve never said
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
I feel you
love this song from " Schiller "

Monday, July 14, 2008

my bAche mAHal ...

Sometimes the world is so small place .. I mean when u see something so fimiliar or so close or sometimes when thing happens and you see some one has the same experience in that place and in that time ...
Iits just so amanzin.. I rememberr when I was ready to come here ..to see my dad and the night before my flight Nilo kept calling me.. she knew I was so damn upset and keep telling me "sweety would you want me to come over to stay with you tonight..?" ..... I didnt want to be a hassle for her knowihg the fact that she lives so far from my place and she got kids as well so it's not ganna be easy for her ... still she was tellign me "I mean it babe .. are you sure you are ok and can stay there by yourself..? "
well I wasnt'... but as I though I will be fine ... she called me for a few times that night and we talked a lot ... I was saying about my childhood with my dad and family and knowing Nilo was living in the same suburb as I was born .. it was just made so much sense for both of us .. the histoy and things happend that time .. I learned she had the same school as I did .. she had the same teacher for her first year of school .. she was amazed by the fact that I still remember my first teacher's name .. well I had her when I was 7 years old.. she had the same hight school as my sister had ... damn.. and she recognised my aunti .. who was " kalanter mahal" well really hard core though ... in that time .. had a bad experience with her .. well not surprising me at all .. couse I know my aunt very well ... yeah and we both talked about all the aspects and living in that area and the society ... it made me so close to her and felt like I know her for long long time...

Friday, July 11, 2008

مردم همیشه تنهایند .. چون به جای پل ... آسمون خراش .. میسازند

Friday, July 04, 2008

good bye dad ... I dont have any voice left ... and feel so numb ... we had the ceremony ... he is in his new home now ...

Thursday, July 03, 2008

after my fucking long flight .... exhusted and dead tired ... watchig him in his casket ... he was gone for a few days .. well from sunday ... and I didnt know ...

from the time I left sydney I was hopping to have a chance to say goodbye and well ... it didnt happen that way ...so yeah .. kissing all his face ... cold and pale but still beautiful .. kissing his eyes and hoping if he opens it .. it and if I have a chance to see them .. kissing his cold face ..touchig his face and hands ... he was all dressed up in suite and tie ..those cold hands .. sleepin there ...yeah ..

my dad is gone and I still am in denial ...

took plenty pix ...
for me .. he looked the same ...
just a little pale ...
and cold ...

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

bye cold sydney ...
heading to the airport now ...
bye