Tuesday, September 27, 2005

......نوشتن من

نوشتن من
نوعی نفس‌ کشیدن است
نفس کشیدن
در فضایی باز
که همه چیز
شکل روشن خود را باز یافته است
حتی درد و نگرانی
نیزچون
گل‌های بهشتی
واقعیت قطعی و روشنی
پیدا کرده‌اند...
و گاهی ساکتم
گاهی که
حرفی برای گفتن نیست
یا حالش نیست
و خسته ا ز تکرارها
و میپذیرم که
سکوت
گاهی کلام بس محکمتری دارد
برای جواب
بهنگام نیاز
نیازی
برای دانستن بیشتر
و صدای زیباتری دارد
بهنگامی که دیگر
صدایی نمانده
و همه قبلا
در گلو شکسته
..........

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

God maDe CoKE..GoD mAde PEpsi...GOD mADe mE ..sExI..!!!!

had a long day.jsut finished and came home...lucy gave me a lift..then i wz so tired just had a dinner and comin here...by da way 2morrow da gelz ganna start ...cant wait..dis acrylic is so boring now..cant wait for 2morrow..anyway..got ds letter from a man...da thingzz is some how i think he is in sydney ..wel he says he isnt so dunno..never mind ..here is da thingz he wrote 4 me..

Subject: God certainly did !
My dear AtishPareh,
No, don't freak out, I am fully aware that I am way too old for you so I am not about to waste our time that way at all.
But, reading your lines and particularly between the lines, I saw something that is absolutely fascinating to me and just had to drop a line and express it. Belive it or not, I have a very strong feeling for the pain you have been put through, because of my own personal experiences in life so far.
Something that emerges from your words in your refreshinly honest lines, is that part of you seems like a hurricane, stormy and powerful and loud and energetic and ... possibly even destructive in certain moments! blue lake in Switzerland on a sunny day. One side of you is very expressive and totally open and realistic and pragmatic and even pesimistic, and the other part can be quiet and and secretive and keep wonderful things like hope and optimism and promise of love hidden in the depths of that deep dark blue lake, for a diver who can be strong enough to dive and bring them to surface. I feel that those who have a little bit of perception and can look below the surface, will be pleasantly surprised by what they can find in you. There is something in you, still alive, even after all the pain he caused you, that if the right man comes along, it will begin to come back to life again and you will make him a very happy man without any doubt.
You have no reason to take my word for this but if you knew me, I would probably be considered a good friend by you and you would occasionally have a coffe with me and talk about your life because you would know I would try to understand and empathise and be a true well wisher.
But as I said, this is not a clumsy pickup line, since I am old enough to be your dad (ok an uncle at least) and do not live in Sydney and therefore I would not meet you ever, even by chance, so yo can relax.
It would make me very happy if you cared to drop a line and talk to me even for a few sentences, but if you don't, it would be very understandable and its ok. ... Well, I would consider it a loss for me, because I think a conversation with you can be very interesting, but I have lived long enough to understand some of the realities ruling this planet.
In either case, I soooo wish you a happy life with a 'good' man, because I know how it feels to have one's heart and love abused by someone we trust. May you find your match. But, ...I doubt it that a 28 year old can handle a storm like you... Well, maybe in bed but not in life.
Wishing for your happiness,

.....................
.....................
intersting... keep wondering how much is right and da things he says about me...is really dat true..am i ! ! ! ! ! ! ?? ?
i wil think about dis 2morrow...i definetly will...

Saturday, September 17, 2005

just having a short break

walking 2 da city..goin to shopping..after all its sundy and my fridg iz empty...got a flu and need some hot soup....i saw da new shop witch used to be a nice ....it has a new stuff on ..chines of course and im thinking ..da chines here takin ove da city of sydney...there r ever where..ah man..like im livin in typie .r something..not any thing wrong Vit dat...but i learned a lot from these people..there r hard worked dont give ashit for any problems and have da bbest community ever...opposite..my culture ..da iranina community who doesnt give a damn about each other ..not much helpin each other and the word of "beign and living 2gether without a hassel" hasnt have any meaning for them..i used to think different and my ex used to tle me if u c any iranian here..jsut run away..there is no point being with some iranian s and firedship with them here..i used to hate da idea..da first thing ive done after i dumped him was ..mixxed with iranianz here and ah man..i wznt lucky or wat ever u can call me in dat time...it wz crazy ...learned some lesson...well i dont know if i can think da way i used to ..but i dont know may be i just cant say every one is da same..im not looking for any one here..so damn busy with my life ...but im not ganna run away from any of them...i cant say every one is da same..dts crazy..i belive if i can help some persianz here..i will...no matter wt happend in da past with some phycoes i used to call friendz...may b i wz so damn vanurable and need some one to turn to...
we always learn from da mistakes ...dis not ganna stop me to trust and have a faith to people in general...
i ws busy lately to design new stuff for da nail arts..i luved it...playin with da colours and keep enjoyin it...i will louve dis job 4 sure
another things..well i saw dis flag "150 years of rail in N.S.W"..
keep wonderin how come its still suck..???i mean public transpot.... here is suck..it gets worse even lately..no more train after 12 pm ..great..da time i luv to go out sometimes and u have freez ur butt in da middle of da night just for waitn each an hour for another bus who gann pick u..any way...after 150 years...check dis out..da rail is still suck....so give me a break..will ya??!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

screemin....

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I seeBut somehow
I knowThat there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to beBlinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons meShall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen forI rise to meet my end
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light

(Never sleep never die)
.............

singin Vit all my voice...wanna say i am fighter...i always will be..from my teenager old times when i have to face all da bullshitty ruls in dat crazy socity ....i wz a rebel..i still am..and nothing can stop my way...i wanna da world knows dat....nothing can stop me....i am always a fighter....

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

nail artz

froZen Inside...without ur luv...without ur touch darlin...


i wasnt depressed dis time like d last time after i came bck 2 sydney...i though dis time i dont want to run 2 friendz..or stop facing it...dis time i wann face it...and then it wz over...feel better...itz spring here....new season..fresh start...had nail artz class last night ...luved it